Starting coaching or therapy can feel intimidating. If it’s your first time, you might have some preconceived notions about what the experience will be like. And that’s ok. After all, it can involve sharing some of your deepest concerns and most private worries with a stranger.
“Feeling nervous before your first session is totally normal,” says AbleTo Program Therapist Maritza Contreras-Rivera, LMFT. “It’s also normal if it takes some time to feel fully comfortable with your provider and to figure out if they’re a good fit. What’s most important is that you trust the process enough to give it a try.”
To help, we asked Contreras-Rivera to address common fears we hear about seeking support.
1. Getting mental wellness support will be useless
When it feels like there’s no hope, it’s important to know that coaching and therapy can be a hope generator.
“If you’re self-aware and caught in a bad place, it’s easy to think you know everything about your situation, and all you need to do is keep working through it,” says Contreras-Rivera. “But a provider can help you work through things more effectively. They’re trained to bring a new perspective and evidence-based tools and strategies.”
Plus, the support doesn’t end when your sessions do. AbleTo programs also give you on-demand access to digital resources — like guided journals, meditations, breathing exercises, and mood tracking — so you can continue making progress on your own time.
2. I’m going to be admitted into in-patient care against my will
This is a common fear. (Thanks, movies and TV!) But it’s unfounded.
“Sharing your honest thoughts won’t lead to involuntary admission,” says Contreras-Rivera. “If you plan to act on certain thoughts, your provider might collaborate with you to get a higher level of care. Or they may recommend that you voluntarily check into a safe care facility. But more often than not, getting extended care like this is your decision.”
3. My provider will judge me
Coaches and therapists choose their field of work because they want to help people. Not judge them. And likely, whatever you want to share with your provider, they’ve already heard it before.
“It’s ok to want to be liked by your provider,” says Contreras-Rivera. “But remember, they’re trained to listen, free of judgment. They’re there to help you understand yourself better.”
Plus, coaching and therapy work best when you’re honest and open. If you struggle with opening up or continue to think you’re being judged, let your provider know. This can lead to greater self-awareness.
“When you assume that your provider is judging you, it might be that you’re pre-judging yourself,” says Contreras-Rivera. “Give yourself some grace” That said, at the end of the day, if it does feel like a provider is judging you, it’s ok to find a different one.
4. I won’t know what to say
People have all kinds of novel reactions to coaching and therapy. Some people talk non-stop during their first session. Others burst into tears before they say anything. If it’s your first time seeking professional support, you might even be surprised by what you do say.
“It’s perfectly fine to tell your provider, ‘I don’t know what to say. I’m just here because I’m sad/frustrated/confused/etc…,’” says Contreras-Rivera. “It’s a provider’s job to help you unpack what’s going on, even if you’re not sure what that is yet.”
5. I don’t have it bad enough
The idea that you need to hit some sort of high score on the “suffer scale” to qualify for support is false. And unreasonable.
“You don’t have to be at rock bottom to give coaching or therapy a try,” says Contreras-Rivera. “Not feeling your best is enough of a reason to go.”
Think of it this way: If you were to break your hand, you wouldn’t say, “Well, some people break every bone in their body, so I don’t need to get my hand treated,” would you?
Plus, getting support to address difficult feelings now can help prevent them from getting worse. A provider can help better understand your thoughts and emotions so you have an easier time managing your own mental wellness going forward.
6. I’ll be in coaching or therapy forever
How long you’re in coaching or therapy depends on several factors, including your goals and what your provider thinks would be best for you. At AbleTo, we offer programs you graduate from.
“We equip you with evidence-based skills to help you process difficult emotions and life changes, even after your program ends,” says Contreras-Rivera. “The idea is to help you live a healthier, happier life, not to keep you coming back.” So, if you have a specific goal you’d like to achieve with your provider, be clear up front. Remember, you’re the customer. You’re not obligated to stay with any provider.
7. People will think I’m crazy
Getting mental wellness support can be private. You don’t have to tell anyone. But, if you need extra support, consider confiding in someone you trust.
People are often more supportive than you expect. And, you might be surprised to find out how many other people you know are also getting help.
Start coaching or therapy confidently
Seeking mental wellness support can feel scary. But only because you might not know what to expect. We get it. In times of doubt, remember: Your mental wellness shapes how you live your life. You deserve to take care of yourself so you feel better each and every day.
By Kelton Wright
Kelton Wright is an author, editor, and athlete passionate about helping people live happier lives. She’s taught mindfulness to NFL coaches, led hundreds of women through cycling clinics, written an Amazon bestseller on dating, and worked with brands like Runner’s World, Rapha, Headspace, Teen Vogue, Bicycling magazine, Thrive Market, Skratch Labs, Peloton Magazine, and more all with the mission of empowering others.
Clinically reviewed by Hayley Quinn, PsyD, Manager of Clinical Program Development at AbleTo.
Photo by Ingo Doerrie/Unsplash.
The information featured on this site is general in nature. The site provides health information designed to complement your personal health management. It does not provide medical advice or health services and is not meant to replace professional advice or imply coverage of specific clinical services or products. The inclusion of links to other websites does not imply any endorsement of the material on such websites.
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